Tomorrow I get to take the girls out of the orphanage. Yeah!! We are all so excited. When I told the girls that tomorrow they would come with me and leave the orphanage forever they jumped up and down and hugged and kissed me.

It is a holiday weekend and nothing can be done on their passports until next Tuesday. Instead of staying here in this not so lovely town, we are taking a night train tomorrow and are going to the Southern part of Ukraine near the Black Sea. The place is called Odessa. Mary requested a little adventure so we are hoping to accommodate. We had to pay a bribe to the “mini moffia” as they called it to get the tickets, but hey we got them. Mary was shocked by the bribe, but I have gotten used to the system of paying to get things done. We don’t have tickets back from Odessa yet, or a place to stay but they tell us not to worry they will work it out. More bribes to the Moffia I’m sure. I think Mary will surely get her adventure.

I may not have internet access while we are gone, but I will blog when we get back. It may be a few days before we have internet again.

These are the last pictures of my orphans, next time you see them they will at least be clean and hopefully be wearing matching clothes.

This is a picture Lena drew that hangs on the wall of the orphanage in the main building.

For Wendy and Alex

My tribute to Wendy the pioneer leading the way in all of this and my friend.

First, thank you for all the shortcuts you taught me that helped me to go from home study to being in the Ukraine in a short 3 months. Thank you for answering all my dossier questions and for patiently listening to all of my concerns. Thank you for documenting this whole process and making it easier for those following. Thank you for putting together lunches and parties so we could all meet and help each other along. Thank you for being here in the Ukraine when I got here and showing me all the ropes. Thank you for taking care of me and listening to all my woes. Thank you for helping me name my girls and for sharing my first moments as a mother. Thank you for entertaining me and making the long afternoons speed by. Thank you for helping me solve all my problems, (especially stinky feet) and for patiently listening to all my fears. Thank you for chocolate chip cookies, gummy bears, taco soup and all the little things you did to make me feel more at home. Thank you for your positive attitude and your courage when things went wrong. Thank you for your listening ear and caring heart. Thank you for looking out for me and being my friend. Thank you for your encouragement and advice. Thank you for always commenting on my blog. Lastly, thank you for making me laugh. I have so many happy memories and whenever I remember my time in the Ukraine I will always be grateful for you. Many have read your blog, but I was the lucky one who got to experience it with you first hand. You are an amazing person Wendy and you have touched my life. Thank You! The Ukraine just isn’t the same without you!

Alex,

I know in the coming months and years you will change so much. No matter how grown up, cool, or American you become, I will never forget the sweet Alex I knew here. The Alex who took care of us, who ordered all our food, who always made sure we were o.k. , the Alex who worried about us and loved us, the Alex who made us laugh with his pantomimes and jokes, the Alex full of sweet hugs and cute smiles and the Alex who cooked such wonderful salads. Your pure spirit has been a witness to me of the human soul’s ability to rise above any circumstance.

Back in Dnipro

Mary and I rode the train today from Kiev to Dnipro. It was fun to be awake on the train ride and see the beautiful countryside. I loved the small farms and cute old houses.

We arrived at the orphanage and the girls attacked us. They were so excited. Lena gave Mary a huge hug and a "Hi Marrry" in her cute Ukranian accent. Sara wouldn't leave Mary alone and kept hugging her and holding her hand. I thought that was unusual as she didn't know her, but then I realized we have been talking about Mary non stop and Lena must have told Sara about her as well.


We had a fun day with the girls walking around the town, showing everything to Mary. It was fun to see Mary's reaction to all of this. This is her outside our apartment. She was surprised at how dirty, gross and disgusting the buildings are.



The orphanage was so sad and she couldn't stand it. Another little orphan girl wanted to come with us and the Director said no. She walked away downcast and sad. Mary couldn't take it and talked about how awful it was all day. I told her it is always like that and there is nothing we can do. Everyday at the orphanage I feel like I am giving a huge present to only one child while the rest sit and watch enviously. It is a horrible feeling.

Look out everyone! Mary is on a mission to find a mom for that girl.

I miss Wendy, Alex and Jeff. It is sad to go to all the places we used to go and they aren't here. It isn't the same. I have come to love this city, and my new friends here, but I also can't wait to get my girls and leave this place. This city is a constant reminder of all they have suffered.

Last night we had a girl's night out. Mary, Oxana,(our attorney), Helen,(Sodeburg's translator) and I. Mary and I have not laughed that hard in ages. Our faces and sides hurt. We laughed about everything, from Mary taking pictures of the toilet, and ugly boats to Mary's hilarious questions about the Ukrainian people and Helen's directly translated sarcasm. Let's just say they all laughed at Mary and Helen couldn't stop teasing her. It felt like our regular girl's nights at home. Helen (in the pink) had a bandage on her ear and had to cover it in all our various pictures. She was hilarious. We had so much fun!




My ten day wait, ends on Friday. I am hoping to take the girls out of the orphanage then. Two more nights. They are anxiously counting down and begging to come home with me everyday.

After the ten day wait is up, then we have to work on passports, birth certificates and visas. In other regions it is one or two days, in ours it is a week. I can't even start the process until next Tuesday because this weekend is a holiday again and they have Monday off. I will start the process on Tuesday, hopefully it will take a week, then another two days at the embassy in Kiev and then home. Who knows though! I have learned that the one thing to expect is the unexpected.

To answer your question Jen. My time frame is a little slower than Wendy's, well minus her mess with the passport. She would have gone faster than me if not for that. I have hit two big holidays, where everything shuts down, so I am going to be here 6 weeks if all goes well. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Poor Wendy! If I were you I would plan on 6 weeks and be pleasantly surprised if it takes any less. Hope that helps!

Still in Kiev

Since Jeff left I have been horrible at pictures. I realize I have only taken one. Oops! I'll have to repent and do better. We have been having great fun with Wendy in Kiev.

We heard there was a good Mexican restaurant in Kiev so with ten year old Alex in the lead we decided to ride the subway and find the Tequilla House. After figuring out the subway and finding the restaurant we were so excited for our delicious Mexican food.

Oh boy were we in for a surprise, well not so surprising, bland Mexican food. They said the salsa was hot, but it was barely mild. What a disappointment!

Wendy made up for the bland Mexican today by making delicious taco soup. What am I going to do without Wendy? I am excited for her sake that she is going home on Thursday, but how sad for me. I have become so attached to her and Alex and am really going to miss them.

She promises to keep in touch from home and help me through the last stretch.

Mary and I are headed back to Dnipro tomorrow. I am excited to give my girls a hug. I can't wait for Mary to see them and to meet my Sara.

It has been fun to have the new families here, the Sodeburg's and the Horlachers. I remember my first few days here and feeling the way they do now. It is funny how in just a matter of weeks I have made some amazing friends and feel more at home in this foreign country than I ever thought possible.

Kiev

We have been in Kiev for three days now. It has been nice to have a change of scenery, but I miss the girls. It has been great to hang out with Wendy and Alex. Our attorney Oxana also has been a great host and she has taken Wendy and I to the sauna,(what an experience). For a hillarious description see Wendy's Blog. You probably won't believe it! You will die laughing if you read it although it is a bit shocking. Wendy and I are still laughing and I am threatening to make Mary go. LOL!

Jeff left this morning and Mary came. I was sad to see Jeff go, I'm still going to be here three more weeks. Wow! I was really happy to see Mary. It is strange to see someone from my old life, I have almost forgotten how it is at home. It was good to hear about all of you and the goings on in Utah.

Mary brought us all sorts of things we have been missing. Chocolate chips which Wendy used to make delicious cookies, licore, pancake mix and a million other things we requested. I didn't know I could feel so excited about food.

Our other friends who are adopting from the Ukraine flew in as well. The Horlachers and the Sodeburg's. It was fun to see them all here in the Ukraine. We have all been talking about this for months at home and it was a great feeling to all be here finally getting our kids. What a great group of people and I feel blessed to be part of it.

We went to church today, it was Stake Conference. It was an awesome feeling to be surrounded by such a large group of LDS people in a foreign country. I felt more at home there then I have anywhere since I have been in the Ukraine. I love that calm peaceful feeling that I get no matter where it is or the language that is spoken. It was a good battery charger for me.

Wendy's Groundhog Day

Two nights ago we thought we were saying goodbye to Wendy. We saw her off at the train and I was so sad. Then the next day surprise! She is coming back. They messed up on Alex's passport and she had to come back and is going to be here 5 days longer. She was really sad about it and I felt bad for her, but I was also secretly glad to have her still around. Sorry Wendy!

Jeff had his last day here with the girls. We are both going back to Kiev on the night train with Wendy and Alex. I am going to stay with Mary and Wendy in Kiev until next Wednesday. The girls were really sad and kept begging to come with us. Unfortunately, they have to stay until the 10 day waiting period is over. They gave us both really long hugs and made sad faces. I told them we would all be together again soon. They are excited for Mary and their babushka (grandma to come.) Lena was teasing me today and pointed out the bus window and said Mary. I looked and she laughed really hard. She did the same with grandma. She is so funny and giggles out of control when she tricks me. This is our last lunch here in Dnipro with Jeff and Wendy at our favorite pizza place. The girl in the picture we picked up while we were walking down the street. The kids all knew her and she tagged along. We discovered she used to be in the orphanage but got kicked out when she was 16, so sad. Jeff was so sweet and took the girls and Alex to buy something for Wendy and I for Mother's Day. He said he wanted to make sure we celebrated it since he will be in Utah and the girls and I will be here on the real Mother's Day. I'm so lucky!

Our little gang won't be the same without Wendy, Alex and Jeff. The girls and I will be lonely here without them.

For All of You

I was touched beyond words today as I read your comments on my blog. How blessed my family is to be surrounded by all of you. Jeff and I feel completely loved and supported and we owe it to you who are following our blog and the many others who love us. We could never do this without such a wonderfully supportive environment.

I have heard parents say that they are afraid to raise children in this world of evil. I feel the opposite, I am bringing these kids out of dark and dreary place to a world of light and love. A world where they will be surrounded by all of you. People who are filled with light and who live incredible lives. Coming here has helped me see how blessed I am. I can't wait for my girls to get to know all of you. I heard a quote once that went something like this, "the person we will be in ten years is determined by the people we associate with and the books we read," with you to influence my girls I can't wait to see who they will be in 10 years.

I have been thinking how amazing the spirits of the children are here. Maybe, they are rough and have some pretty crazy manners, I laugh thinking about it. But you wouldn't believe their sweet and loving spirits. They take care of each other and share everything. Despite the fact that they have nothing, whenever they get anything they share it with everyone. If Jeff and I deny any of this sharing the kids make a very sad face. We have taken food from very dirty hands, and shared things, I thought for sure I would gag over, just to avoid hurting any of these precious hearts. How can you resist a handful of sunflower seeds taken from a dirty pocket and handed to you in a filthy hand? I've noticed Wendy can't and neither would any of you if you were here and could see them.


I have found it is a kind of test my girls give me. If I love them, I will take a bite of their half eaten cookie, I will share their soda, I will eat all of their disgusting snacks, I will lick their sucker, I will have the last bite of the treat they were dying to have. Wendy's Alex cries when she does and my girls won't take my coat if I'm cold, even if they are freezing. They will go without anything if they think it makes me suffer. I forgot to bring enough towels swimming and they insisted that they share so I could have my own. They do a million silly things everyday to take care of me and each other.

We took our girls swimming again today and they begged to take Sodeburg's Julia. We weren't sure the director would approve but the girls asked so persuasively that she agreed. My girls made sure Julia had everything they did . It was so cute how they took care of her the whole day and made sure she got equal snacks, equal time with my goggles and they were so happy to share us with her. Leslie, Julia is a sweetheart. She is so excited about the skirt you are bringing her.

My heart is full and I am grateful for this experience. Each day I fall more and more in love with my little girls. When I kiss Sara randomly and tell her I love her in Russian, she smiles at me the most precious smile in the whole world. How I love my little boy looking orphan girl.

Lest you think think they are perfect angels. Lena ordered coffee at lunch yesterday. LOL! You should have seen our reaction. I felt kind of silly afterward, I mean really I'm such a sheltered Mormon girl from Utah - at least it wasn't Vodka. I wouldn't be surprised with all the drinking that goes on over here.

She also got money from her teacher, bought bleach and bleached her hair over the weekend. Jeff and I laughed so hard when we found out. It is such a lovely orangish color. She is an innocent loving kid one minute and some crazy wanta be teenager the next. She really cracks us up.

I realize everyday how much I take the truth I know for granted. We are blessed to have lives filled with light, love and truth.

They are ours!!!

Court started with the judge being very upset that we were late. Our translator got off on the wrong bus stop and put us all behind. The judge almost canceled our court. Our attorney who is amazing smoothed it over. This is Oxana our attorney.



When we started they asked us a million questions. The judge was convinced that I was too young to have the girls. I tried to explain that in Utah I am too old and that everyone there has kids who are my age. It was crazy! It made me feel a little bit better about myself. At home I have always felt like an old maid. Now I am too young to have kids. Wow, what a change. They kept asking why I wanted these girls? It is hard for them to understand why someone from America would travel all this way to get these kids. They even asked us if we get money back home for doing it. They told us most people want money not children and they couldn't understand our motives.

I tried to explain but didn't know how to express through a translator, that ever since I was a little girl I have dreamed of being a mother and that there is nothing in the whole world I want more. I didn't know how to explain the feeling that these are my little girls, I just know it. How logical is that after all?

They asked me if I was afraid Jeff would leave me and go back to his first wife since we haven't been married that long. The judge also asked me, "Amy are you sure he loves you." I turned to Jeff and we both laughed, the judge said, "never mind I can see for myself that he does, that is very good."

She kept trying to figure out how I was going to handle these two girls since I was so young. I kept wondering what her reaction would be to all the mom's in Utah with their 4, 5 and 6 plus kids. Amy G. I'm afraid she would think you were nuts. You have 5 under 8. She would definitely want to make sure Kevin loves you.

In the Ukraine they pay people to have kids and most people only have one or two so you can see why they don't understand us paying to get two that aren't ours.

The girls were awesome. I was so proud of them. They had to testify and answer all sorts of questions. They were sitting in front of us and they kept looking back and smiling. Sara turned around multiple times and tried to hold my hand. The assitant judge was in tears just watching them. Sara has been with a family in Italy for the last two summers and they asked her which was better Italy or Utah. My sweet little Sara said,"wherever mama and papa are."

They asked the girls if they wanted to be adopted by us and they both said they did. When they were asked why, they both said some variation of why they loved us and wanted to have a mama and a papa, (Sara's words) and Lena said she wanted to have a family. It was so sweet.

We waited outside while the judge made her decision and they called us back in. She said she still thought I was too young, but she read her conclusion.

Jeff Rast and Amy Rast will be Helen Marie Rast and Sara Victoria Rast's new mama and papa. I couldn't hold back the tears. I wasn't the only one, I noticed a few of the other ladies in the court were having the same problem. The judge told the girls today was their new birthday, the day they got a papa and mama. What a happy ending to a stressful day. Despite my youthful age (ha ha! ) she couldn't deny the obvious love we have for each other and our clear desire to be together.

They are officially our girls. I am a mother! Yeah! Wahoo! I'm so happy! I never imagined it would come like this, but I wouldn't have it any other way. They are mine!!!! Jeff told me, "I did you good, we haven't even been married a year and I got you two kids." He sure did do me good.


Jeff is so cute with the girls and they love him. We will all be sad to see him leave this weekend.

Monday

This is the street we live on. The factories make the air pretty awful. The sun was brighter today and the air clearer because the factories were on holiday. What a difference it made.


Today we were tired of the same old thing so we got Costa our driver to take us to a different part of the city. He took us to a beach which I think the pictures might give you a good idea what it was like. The change of scenery was nice.

You probably can't tell from Jeff in his short sleeves or the people that were sunbathing but it was freezing. I couldn't believe these people I was cold with my coat on.




Our driver took us to a few other sights. It is hard to know what they were since his English isn't very good and our Russian is worse. We sure had a lot of fun trying to figure it out. Costa is great and we always end up laughing.

The people never smile in pictures. They might be laughing and having a good time and then when they pose for a picture they get so serious. Lena is the expert at that but we do get Sara to smile every once in awhile. Tomorrow is court. The big day! I think we are all feeling a little nervous. We hope for the best. If they tell us we can't be together they will have a huge uprising. We belong together, there is no question in my mind. They better not mess with this mama.

Saturday and Sunday

The Horlachers suggested baking soda for Sara's feet. Thanks that is a good suggestion except I'm not sure how to find that in the store. Seriously, nothing is familiar at all. Our translator is gone so maybe it is faster if you bring it with you next week Mary. Do you mind?

I'll keep you updated on the status of the feet. We tried the spray from the pharmacy but so far stinky still and the new shoes are being contaminated. I can't wait for the baking soda.

Yesterday we went to the bigger city one hour from here and we went to a huge mall. I felt like I was home except for the Russian all around me. We went to the food court and ate at McDonald's. I usually hate that place, but here those golden arches look pretty welcoming. I ate a cheeseburger and fries and thought I was in heaven. The girls don't like hamburgers but they love french fries.

They had an ice skating rink in the mall and the girls wanted to give it a try. Sara was a crack up. She was all over the ice. She almost took Jeff and I down several times.

Lena on the other hand after holding my hand a few times around decided she was too cool for mama or papa. I think it had something to do with the boys her age also skating. She would try to be a cool cat skating along and then would biff it hard. I tried to help her up but she refused and wanted to do it herself. I couldn't stop laughing, secretly of course.


Ouch they looked like they hurt, all 10 of them. She told me at the end how many times she had fallen.







She finally got pretty good and was very proud of herself. When we left the rink she said in English very loud so the boys could here. "Let's go mama!" Oh my we are in for it.

It is fun to watch the girls experience new things.

Today was their Easter. We tried to dye eggs but we couldn't read the Russian instructions. It took us some trial and error to get it right. We didn't find dye but sticker things that you boil on. The girls weren't much help so it obviously isn't something they normally do. Jeff and I laughed that they probably have them at home and we are just oblivious. Who knows?

Lena showed us on the calendar today that court was on Tuesday. She thought she would be able to come with us then. We had to count out ten more days and tell her that is when she can come with us. She was very sad about that. Sara pointed and said America? We showed her when we are going home. They were both disappointed at how long it was going to be. Jeff showed them when he is going home and Lena said she is going to cry.

I am glad Mary is coming and then my mother in law. I would hate to be here by myself. Wendy you are impressive. Besides I need someone to laugh with at all the crazy things that happen.

I'm sure Mary will give me something additional to laugh at everyday. I can't wait to hear her try to order something at a restaurant or get something at the store. I remember the first night Lena was with us at our house. Mary's charades had me crying with laughter.

Me and Sara in the car. Lena refused to join in our immaturity.

Friday

We have been spending time with the girls and Wendy. Yesterday we went swimming, yes they actually have a pretty nice pool even though it is freezing cold. The girls loved swimming and I was glad to see they are both daring and willing to try new things. They love our attention and are always wanting us to watch them do something cool.



Tomorrow we are going to the Dniproprotrosk (something like that) the bigger city that is 45 minutes away. We wanted to give the girls a bath before going since Sara's feet are very stinky. We didn't know how we were going to manage riding in the car with her. So we took the girls to Wendy's dive apartment since they are not allowed in ours. Apparently ours is too nice for kids. LOL.

Wendy helped give them a bath and do Sara's hair. She is practicing as she promised to do it for court. I am inexperienced in that realm, especially with the Ukrainian haircut. What would I do without Wendy? Unfortunately, the bath did not help Sara's feet. She wanted me to help her and I scrubbed her from head to foot. I washed her feet to death and she laughed because it tickled but in the end no go. Still stinky. We decided she had fungus or athletes foot.



Tonight Jeff and I had a date night. Dinner just the two of us, no kids, no translators. Part of our date night was walking to the store and trying to buy stuff to help Sara's feet. The poor kid they look miserable. I dared Jeff to act out fungus feet at the store but he opted to call Masha and have her talk to the Pharmacist. We got some stuff, we hope it will help. We tried to have her wear the new shoes we bought but unfortunately, they are way too big and the 10 pants we bought fit Lena not Sara. So Mary when you come would you mind buying a bigger size for Sara? We will try to find some shoes tomorrow. The feet are gaggers and we are dying. The poor thing and no one in the orphanage cares or helps her, but how can they with 500 kids.

We will let you know how the feet thing turns out. While giving the girls baths today they wanted me in the bathroom and no one else, just mama. What a weird feeling. They are more and more affectionate and I think we are all getting used to the idea of being a family.

We gave the kids what is equivalent to a dollar and let them buy some treats at the corner store. They have tons of them around. Jeff was impressed with their 20 minute deliberation while the three of them decided how to get the most bang for their buck. Jeff took a picture of the results.

I have a cold and have been feeling a bit miserable. I opened my blog today and read my comments from all of you and it helped me feel much better. I have decided the only reason I like this whole blog thing is because it makes you all feel close and I don't feel so alone over here in this strange world. I think everyday what can I write that will make you want to keep reading and not abandon me. So please even if I start saying the most boring awful things please keep the comments coming. They are my life line.

Thanks to my friends in the neighborhood I appreciate you all so much. Hey Mary and Dona did you see my best friend Jenny growing up has been following. Jenny, I have been talking about you to them for years and they always give me a hard time for not keeping in touch. Thanks for following along Anna (our awesome translator when the girls were in Utah) also our social worker Mckay, and our families. You are such a support and I love you all. I don't want to forget my friend here Wendy who has been a tender mercy and all the other families who are adopting. I appreciate your encouragement. It is nice to have comments from people who know how I am feeling. I have had a few requests to view the blog from families who have adopted in the past, I would love to hear any feedback or experiences you have as well.

Well back to my life here. Yesterday we did the usual hang out in the morning and then get the girls at two, and spend time with them. We went to Wendy's apartment. It is a dive. Poor Wendy! She's happy though she has Alex with her and he is clean and smells so good. I kept sniffing him and saying how good he smelled, he thought I was a bit crazy. The sign for that is international I have found. Alex is our little translator he has picked up a lot of English in the last four weeks with Wendy. It is good, it has been encouraging my girls to speak English. The girls say English words and then look at me for approval. It is really cute.

They are doing much better at English than I am at Russian. Our attorney Oxana lives with us now since Masha left and she tried to help me with more Russian words last night. She did more laughing than anything. I remember from my mission that the only way to learn a language is to have no shame and let yourself be laughed at. I am getting plenty of that. The girls always laugh when I try to speak Russian. Jeff and I spend a lot of time laughing about our Russian, our charades with the girls and our broken English with those who speak it a little. We don't know how we will speak when we get home- some mix of broken English, hand motions and Russian.

I put some of the picture on today's blog that we didn't post before. Our boys Chandler and Parker wanted more video so I put a video of Lena singing for us. Hope you like it boys!





This is the train ride with Masha. I was the only one willing to sleep on the top bunk, so Jeff and Masha slept on the bottom. It was really funny. To those who hate small spaces I would recommend not taking the night train.


This is the outside of our apartment with the door that says, "If you piss here I will kill you."


This is the bathroom in the orphanage and it is like this in some of the old Russian buildings. I made the mistake of going with someone for the first time. It is not fun to squat, yet alone with a crowd. Yikes!