Zhenya

After a night's sleep my heart still aches for the little guy but I think I can talk about it now.

This is Yevgen or Zhenya for short. Alina's brother. His mom died when he was six months old, his father unknown. He was put in an orphanage and has been there ever since.


We played with him for an hour. He was the cutest little guy in the world.


He played ball with Jeff and laughed and laughed.


He made us all lay on the floor and told us a story. Sara translated, it was hilarious. He included animal sounds. Adorable.


If we moved he would tell us to go back to sleep, "Spat". We have the cutest videos.


His spirit is sweet and gentle. We played, laughed and completely fell in love.


This is him begging Sara to come play some more. We all thought for sure we would adopt him.

We then got his medical records and the difficult decision began.

Zhenya has cystic fibrosis. It is a lung disease, in Zhenya's case it has also affected his pancreas and heart. We couldn't tell he was sick at all, so when the director told us they thought he could die any day we were skeptical.

So we checked and double checked all of his medical records and his tests. We talked to his old doctor and his new doctor. We checked with the orphanage he was in before. It all confirmed what the Director had told us.

After prayerful consideration we decided we couldn't adopt him. Jeff was more willing, bless his tender heart, but I knew if I had a choice I could not watch that sweet boy suffer and die.

The girls were so sad, and Sara begged us to take him anyway. It broke all of our hearts but in the end we had to tell Zhenya good bye.

Yes, he is in a good orphanage, yes, he has a doctor on sight to help him, yes he has a cook that makes special food just for him. But he doesn't have a mom and dad who love him, who comfort and care. A mom to hold him when things are rough and a dad to play and make him laugh. It does not feel good to leave a kid like that.

I was crying as we left and the director told me it is better to cry for one day than for the rest of my life. Maybe that is true, but we will cry the rest of our lives every time we think of Alina's dear, sweet, sick little brother, that we thought for sure was going to be ours.

A rough day

We decided not to get her brother . It was the most terrible decision ever and I am still crying about it. I will have to write more details later. It is so hard right now. Thanks for all of your prayers and love .


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Sleepless Night

Ok, it is 1:15 in the morning. I have to get up at 5 to travel to the orphanage where Alina's brother is. I went to bed at 10 but to no avail! I CAN NOT sleep. Ahhh! I hate when I know I need to sleep and I can't.

I am so anxious about tomorrow....

At first they said if we want Alina we have to take him, now they say maybe we can't have him. Since he is six his director has custody so she gets to decide. We will know for sure tomorrow.

I have so been hoping for a little boy. I keep telling myself it will work out the way it is supposed to, but it isn't helping me sleep.

I have images of orphan boys dancing in my head. Maybe I should try counting sheep!

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Our second day with Alina

Thanks everyone for all the comments and emails. Your love and support mean so much to me. It is my lifeline.

Today as we pulled up to the orphanage Alina was waiting at the window. She smiled and waved. She told Lena she had been waiting there all morning.

She came to meet us all smiles, with hugs for everyone.

We took her with us and what a great day we had together. We went grocery shopping and we tried to get her to pick out a snack or some candy. She wouldn't.

When I took Lena and Sara to the grocery store for the first time they wanted everything. Funny, shy Alina.

We went to lunch at the Pizza place, you remember Wendy. Then back to our apartment and played UNO and Candy Land.

She loved Candy Land and wanted to take it back to the orphanage to play with all the kids. Of course, we said yes because that is what Shelby wanted, so thank you Shelby!!!! They are going to love it.

The highlight of her day was to Skype her brother Spencer in America, who was adopted by the Hinkson's. We mentioned it to her and she was very excited. She had to make sure her hair was perfect before she got in front of the computer. When she saw him on the other end she just started talking and talking. She was all smiles, and so happy.

My favorite part was when Spencer said something like, "Wow Alina you have huge bangs" in English. She didnt understand but the girls and I couldn't help it, we busted up laughing. She asked what he said and Lena told her that he said her hair was long. Smooth Lena! I am still laughing as I write. Thanks Hinkson's ! We sure love you guys.

When we were riding back to the orphanage I reached over and grabbed her hand and told her how happy I was she was coming with us. I don't know how much she undestood but she squeezed my hand tight and held onto it the rest of the way. Her sweet little hand in mine, ahhh!

Lena and Sara are extremely cute with Alina. They are so so nice it is hilarious. Sara treats her like a pet or little kid, always saying good job and stuff you would say to a dog or toddler. I am sure Alina wants to pound her, but she just smiles.

They always want her to win all the games and they get mad if anyone skips her or makes her draw extra cards. How long will it last??? Hopefully until we get home.

I will have to post pictures tomorrow about giving presents to Sara and Lena's friends and our time at their orphanage. It was so amazing. I am too tired tonight. What a great experience we are having so far.



The face under the hair. She hates pictures.



Our funny face contest. Alina didn't want to play. I don't know why. Ha ha! The girl's laughed and said mine was only funny because it wasn't funny it was stupid. Oh well!

A Day Full of emotions

I am not sure yet what was more emotional today, seeing Alina for the first time or taking my girls back to visit their orphanage.

First things first

Today we finally saw Alina! As we were driving to the orphanage the girls were so excited, they were really cute. I was super nervous. I was worried about how she would react to us, would she want to come? Also, would I feel any ah ha's like with Sara and Lena or oh no's.

When we got to the orphanage we waited in a room for them to bring Alina. The director laughingly told us how excited and nervous she was. They said she had been waiting nervously since yesterday.

When they finally brought her into the room, I could see she was terrified. Here bangs covered her eyes and she was looking down. Jeff nudged me and told me to give her a hug, I guess I was standing there terrified too.

So I did. She was as stiff as a board and wouldn't look at me. The girls and Jeff hugged her, same thing. It was a little awkward, no a lot. The director told her to sit by me on the couch. We sat down and I could feel her skinny little legs shaking, she was so nervous.

The director then tried to get her to talk and she wouldn't say much. We tried to ask her questions but she would hide behind the bangs and shrug. It wasn't going so well.

Finally, I peaked under the bangs and made a funny face at her. She smiled, I smiled. She was beautiful. Peace filled my heart and I knew it was going to be ok.

Thank heavens for the peace or how else could I come clear across the world to some God forsaken-freezing town in Ukraine to adopt a girl that won't even talk to me.

The director told us to spend some time with her. The translator, director and inspector left the room and we sat there awkwardly with Alina. We asked for a tour of the orphanage so she gave us a silent maybe 5 word tour. It was pretty funny.

Finally, when we realized talking wasn't in the cards we opted for a magic show from Jeff and Sara that got us laughing, then a hilarious game of charades. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Yes, I was a dog, Sara a snake and Lena a crocodile. She wouldn't act one out but at least we really got her laughing.

She might wonder if she is joining a circus not a family, but the important part is that she said yes! Hallelujah!

The poor scared to death kid with hands shaking and hiding under her bangs, signed her life over to us so we could start the adoption process.

I marveled at the courage it must take for this shy, frightened girl to take this leap of faith and put her life in my hands.

After leaving Alina's orphanage the girl's were dying to go to their orphanage.

The minute I walked through the gates I started crying. I wondered what in the world I was crying for. We walked through the court yard and it got worse, by the time we went in the first building I was a hopeless mess.

The kids from the orphanage swarmed us. They all fought to talk to Lena and Sara at once. Lena was in heaven and Sara turned shy. They talked to me in Russian, asking if I remembered them. Of course I did, all of them.

Sara's teacher screamed in delight and ran to hug her over and over crying the whole time.

I cried the whole darn time too and finally had to leave it was too much. We promised to come back tomorrow with presents, they were so excited.

I realized as I left that I was crying for three reasons. One- Now that I love my girls so dang much, it broke my heart to imagine them there without me all those years. Two- Sweet memories from our last visit. Three- Seeing the stark difference between my girls and those orphans broke my heart. I remembered my girls as they were when I found them in that place and I realized fully for the first time how much they have changed.

They are beautiful, full of hope and light such a contrast to the poor kids we left behind.

So for all of us who have adopted I realized today that our hard work, patience, sacrifice, heartache and especially our love has made a difference. It is hard to see when we are in the trenches of daily life but today showed me how true it is. It also gave me fresh courage to do it all again.

Thanks to the Kimball's and their awesome help with our technology, I can blog from the iPhone. Yeah! Blogging made easy.

We are on our way to see Alina! Hooray!!! We will see her tomorrow after riding the night train to Dnipro.

The director told us Alina is very excited to see us. We are also very excited to see her. We won't visit Zhenya's orphanage till next week.

If Alina says yes we will move forward with her process and work on Zhenya's after hers is started.

Riding the train reminds us of you Mom R. We have been getting a kick out of our train memories. We miss having you with us.

The girls are being wonderful and we are having a great time together on our adventure. Between Jeff and Sara we are always laughing.









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Just for Juliette

We are sad we aren't with you on your birthday but
we took some special birthday pictures for you!

Orange Peel Birthday from Sara

Happy Birthday looking over Dnipro River. It was so cold!

On the Subway. People were really looking at us funny, but it was worth it because we love you!

Last from Santa, but we lost the birthday somewhere. Oops!

We love you and hope you have a wonderful Birthday. Eat lots of yummy cake for us.