A Day Full of emotions

I am not sure yet what was more emotional today, seeing Alina for the first time or taking my girls back to visit their orphanage.

First things first

Today we finally saw Alina! As we were driving to the orphanage the girls were so excited, they were really cute. I was super nervous. I was worried about how she would react to us, would she want to come? Also, would I feel any ah ha's like with Sara and Lena or oh no's.

When we got to the orphanage we waited in a room for them to bring Alina. The director laughingly told us how excited and nervous she was. They said she had been waiting nervously since yesterday.

When they finally brought her into the room, I could see she was terrified. Here bangs covered her eyes and she was looking down. Jeff nudged me and told me to give her a hug, I guess I was standing there terrified too.

So I did. She was as stiff as a board and wouldn't look at me. The girls and Jeff hugged her, same thing. It was a little awkward, no a lot. The director told her to sit by me on the couch. We sat down and I could feel her skinny little legs shaking, she was so nervous.

The director then tried to get her to talk and she wouldn't say much. We tried to ask her questions but she would hide behind the bangs and shrug. It wasn't going so well.

Finally, I peaked under the bangs and made a funny face at her. She smiled, I smiled. She was beautiful. Peace filled my heart and I knew it was going to be ok.

Thank heavens for the peace or how else could I come clear across the world to some God forsaken-freezing town in Ukraine to adopt a girl that won't even talk to me.

The director told us to spend some time with her. The translator, director and inspector left the room and we sat there awkwardly with Alina. We asked for a tour of the orphanage so she gave us a silent maybe 5 word tour. It was pretty funny.

Finally, when we realized talking wasn't in the cards we opted for a magic show from Jeff and Sara that got us laughing, then a hilarious game of charades. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Yes, I was a dog, Sara a snake and Lena a crocodile. She wouldn't act one out but at least we really got her laughing.

She might wonder if she is joining a circus not a family, but the important part is that she said yes! Hallelujah!

The poor scared to death kid with hands shaking and hiding under her bangs, signed her life over to us so we could start the adoption process.

I marveled at the courage it must take for this shy, frightened girl to take this leap of faith and put her life in my hands.

After leaving Alina's orphanage the girl's were dying to go to their orphanage.

The minute I walked through the gates I started crying. I wondered what in the world I was crying for. We walked through the court yard and it got worse, by the time we went in the first building I was a hopeless mess.

The kids from the orphanage swarmed us. They all fought to talk to Lena and Sara at once. Lena was in heaven and Sara turned shy. They talked to me in Russian, asking if I remembered them. Of course I did, all of them.

Sara's teacher screamed in delight and ran to hug her over and over crying the whole time.

I cried the whole darn time too and finally had to leave it was too much. We promised to come back tomorrow with presents, they were so excited.

I realized as I left that I was crying for three reasons. One- Now that I love my girls so dang much, it broke my heart to imagine them there without me all those years. Two- Sweet memories from our last visit. Three- Seeing the stark difference between my girls and those orphans broke my heart. I remembered my girls as they were when I found them in that place and I realized fully for the first time how much they have changed.

They are beautiful, full of hope and light such a contrast to the poor kids we left behind.

So for all of us who have adopted I realized today that our hard work, patience, sacrifice, heartache and especially our love has made a difference. It is hard to see when we are in the trenches of daily life but today showed me how true it is. It also gave me fresh courage to do it all again.