Magical April Moments

At one of the seminars I went to recently about adopted kids, they said to remember the magical moments and focus on those instead of all the negative. For my own sake I wanted to blog about my magical April moments.

During a spring snow storm, we went out at 11:00 at night and pulled the kids behind the car on tubes. The night was quiet and no one was out but us, we had a blast and laughed and laughed. The kids couldn't believe what we were doing and hugged me a hundred times and told me I was the best mom ever. I felt like a teenager again.

This was my first race of the year. The kids had to get up at 5:45 a.m. on a Saturday to come, but they begged and pleaded to come. I loved crossing the finish line with my kids on the side lines cheering me on. When I was done they all came running up for a sweaty hug.

For our one year anniversary with the girls, we went to Park City for a few days. They had a karaoke night at the hotel we were staying. My girls were fearless and took endless turns singing for the group. Jeff had to leave and couldn't watch, he was too embarrassed. I held it together for quite a few songs, but when Sara started in on Tinkle Tinkle Little Star, I had to run to the bathroom and let out the laugh that had been building. I laughed in the hall till tears came.

While in Park City I got a bad sunburn on my legs. The girls said in the Ukraine they put sour cream on sunburns. Hmm. Well, I had some and it hurt so I tried it. My friends who were with us laughed and thought I was crazy, but the girls were pleased I had followed their advice. After a few hours my leg was, well.. disgusting. We all thought it was pretty hilarious.

We went to my nieces dance competition, where she performed a solo. The girls were impressed. After the performance, they said they were going to practice their dances and make their own costumes then come to the competition and perform. They perform frequently at home with homemade costumes.

All of you who have seen their dances know why I found their suggestion hysterical. I explained they would have to join a dance team and get a teacher if they wanted to do that. They insisted that I could show them. By this point I was laughing out loud. I told them I was sorry but that is one thing I definitely could not teach them. It is funny, they think I know everything.

Learning English

Today while shopping, Lena told me she was going to look at some shirts and get a truck. I turned to my friend Mary and said, "A truck?"

We both shrugged and kept shopping. She came back with a cart and some clothes in it. I didn't think much of it. Later, when she was trying something on she told me, "Wait, I need something in the truck."

"The truck?" I asked. "You mean the car?"

"No, the truck" as she pointed to the cart.

I got the giggles and couldn't stop. She demanded to know what I was laughing at. At times I hate correcting her because I think it is darn cute. But, I was busted so between laughs I told her it was a cart not a truck. She couldn't help but laugh too.

Sara gets confused between the fridge and the freezer. She says they sound the same. This might not seem like much of a problem, except when I ask her to put something in the fridge it often ends up in the freezer and vice versa.

Tonight, while I was cooking dinner she wanted me to quiz her. I proceeded to ask her to put something in the fridge and then the freezer and she practiced doing it right. Finally, I gave her high fives and told her she had figured it out.

As I was getting ready for bed, Lena told me to come look in the freezer. Sure enough, Sara strikes again. The food I had asked her to put in the fridge after dinner was in the freezer. How can I not laugh?

Talk about Feelings

Last night the girls crossed a busy intersection without even looking and they almost got ran over twice. I watched the whole thing and nearly had a heart attack. It scared me to death, which translated into being very upset. I immediately asked them what they were doing in a not nice way, and told them they knew better. Sara shut down and wouldn't answer and Lena got mad and started to mouth off. I told her if she was going to talk to me like that then just go away. I meant go calm down. She stormed off, burst into tears and proceeded to sob uncontrollably.

Later, I told her I was sorry for getting mad and she told me she was sorry too. That is normally how we would have left it, but after my Brain Gym class and a conversation with my friend Carlin, a mother of three adopted Ukrainians, I decided we had better talk about our feelings and what happened in more detail.

I asked Lena how it made her feel. I am such a nerd and actually felt embarrassed when I asked her. I am sure she noticed. She said that it made her feel bad because when I told her to go away she thought I meant I didn't want her any more and that she needed to go find another family.

I paused and panicked, what in the world was I supposed to say to that. I couldn't believe it. I started by explaining that I was scared she was going to die and so I overreacted. I told her I didn't want her to die or go away. She got big tears in her eyes. I then asked her why she thinks I would send her away. She said that if she is bad I will send her to another family. I asked her what made her think that. She said in the Ukraine kids left to go with families but if they were bad they would come back to the orphanage.

I told her that I was different. I told her I believed in God and that he told me she should be in our family. I told her when we were sealed in the temple Heavenly Father gave her to me forever. I told her I promised Heavenly Father on that day that I would be her mom forever and that I would never give her away. I told her I would never stop being her mother no matter what she did. Her eyes filled with tears again and she said, "Thanks mom." I held out my arms and she buried her head in my shoulder and let me hold her for a long time.

Later, as I was washing dishes I was thinking how inadequate and unqualified I felt to be their mother. I asked heaven, "How am I going to do this?" An over powering thought came to me, "They are mine, I love them and you are the person I have prepared to be their mother. I will help you be the mother they need."

I was filled with peace and knew despite all of my weaknesses it was going to be o.k.

Easter & April Fool's

On April Fool's Day I woke the girls up at 5:00 a.m. and we went around the neighborhood playing pranks on our friends. We have a long standing competition going on in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, we lost this year because one of our friends out did us by inviting everyone to a party at our house that we weren't having. The girl's ran around the neighborhood trying to retrieve the door hangers inviting everyone to our party.

I won't tell you about the prank I played on the girls because it had to do with feminine hygiene products. They laughed and laughed. They told me they think April Fool's is the best holiday in America.

Lena and the Boys making potato salad for a Easter Party.

Lena is a great cook and she has inspired the boys to

want to cook as well.

Parker got stuck cutting the onions. He said the goggles made

it so the onions wouldn't hurt his eyes. He always makes

me laugh.

In our attempt to teach the kids what Easter week is really

about, we had our own Last Supper. We all hated

the lamb, but we had lots of fun.

I brought some egg decorating stuff back from

the Ukraine with me last year. I pulled them out

when we decorated our eggs and

the girls loved them.



Whenever, the kids fight I make them share their

upset feelings with each other. It is the best part

of being a mother to these 4 kids so close in age.

When the boys have to tell the girls why their feelings

are hurt, it always makes me chuckle. They are so cute.

Despite the ups and downs we are slowly becoming a family.

The kids are friends and maybe someday they will feel like

siblings.

Lena... Lena.. This week after getting really mad

at me, she wrote me a sorry song and sang it

to me with her karaoke machine. I went from being completely upset

to laughing. Motherhood I have discovered is an emotional roller coaster.

Chandler is my buddy. We have shared love for sports

and always choose to be on the same team in any family

sporting event. Jeff tries to persuade him to be on his team

but Chandler always chooses me. It is hilarious. I tell

Jeff it is because we usually win. I am so grateful for Jeff's boy's in our family.

Sara, sweet Sara. She is quick to give me a hug

when she thinks I am sad and takes such good

care of me. She makes me want to be a better

mother.

For Anna

Anna,

Sveta wanted you to see these pictures. We changed her name to Sara when we adopted her.

This is Sara with her Grandma.

Sara with my best friends Mary and Dona

Sara riding a small car at a race track.

Sara's pet Chinchilla she calls him "Chili"

Sara with her best friend Elise. When Sara

is around Elise will not go to anyone else.

Sara learning to cross country ski.

Sara with her other Grandma

Sara on her birthday with her fairy cake.

Cake Decorating

On Lena's birthday in September my mom, an expert cake decorator, showed the girls the basics of the art.

The learning curve started- from smoke alarms, and cake covered ovens to soggy insides and drooping pieces of art, the girls, "who know everything," have finally started to get the hang of it. Here are just a few of their finished products. They wouldn't allow photos of the early ones. For my birthday I got a blue and yellow Ukranian cake, they were too embarrassed to allow a picture, maybe because I laughed when I saw it. Oops. It just slipped out.


Cupcake cake for Sara's Birthday

Fairy Cake

Basketball cake they made for their brother Parker's birthday.

Private Property

Is Jeff talking to himself in the bathroom I wonder.
I listen closer. I hear, "Oh no, no, not again they didn't."
I start laughing to myself. I know exactly what is going to happen next.
Just as I expect, he opens the bathroom door.
"Have you seen the toothpaste?"
I laugh, "You just opened a new one last night, and I haven't seen it."
"Those girls!" he says as he heads into their bathroom to retrieve his toothpaste.
He comes back two minutes later his new tube of toothpaste in hand, shaking his head.

From toothpaste to camp tables, everything is always missing at our house. It is hardest for poor Jeff who went from bachelor in a bachelor pad, to sharing a house with three girls - two of which still live in a world where everything is community property.

It feels like Amy and Jeff vs. Lena and Sara as we sit up late at night talking about our next plan of action. At our whits end, we finally decide to start taking stuff out of their room for a week, followed by a family talk. Maybe if they can see how frustrating it is they will have more understanding for their raving parents. We'll have to wait and see, meanwhile, I think Jeff is going to enjoy taking their stuff a little too much, he's been itching for a little revenge. :)